youre lurking in front of me
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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