why do cheetos always look like penises
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
