I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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