I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
