i think my tv is drunk
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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