She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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