Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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