can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
