She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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