Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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