Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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