2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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