Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
