Whoa Z and x make the same sound
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
