So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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