make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
