It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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