Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize