Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
