he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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