She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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