Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
