Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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