If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
