Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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