Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize