She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm too high and old for this...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
