it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
