I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
