the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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