very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
