whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
