please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
