he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
