i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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