Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
