He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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