11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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