where am i from again
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
