But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
