i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
