i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
