I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
