If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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