he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Randomize
