he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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