try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
