I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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