Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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