This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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