I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize