Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
