Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
