I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
