Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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