You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
