my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
