Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
