And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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