You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
