I just made out with a guy for $7.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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