Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
