I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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