My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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