I need help removing her.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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