that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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