Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize