the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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