if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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