And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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