One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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