Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
