i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just had sex bonerless
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
