You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
