I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
