Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
