Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
