sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
