Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We have started to decorate penises.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
