Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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