I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
