What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
