i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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