he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
